Happy (slightly belated) October, everyone!
We are well into my most favorite time of the year – the weather is getting cooler (thank goodness), all things pumpkin and apple are in full effect, and the holidays are quickly approaching! It’s been a minute – okay, several thousand – since my last post, but as it does from time to time, life whisked me away to tend to some hundreds of other things in the meantime. Among those including another unplanned trip home (for a much less happier reason), being placed in my own infant room at school, crazy daily/work schedules for the husband and myself, and so many others. Nevertheless, we’re here and back in business now and I’ll be working especially diligently to keep those hiatuses at much more of a minimum.
Last month, Tim and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. And in what seems to be becoming a ritual for us – last year, we were on the first leg of our road trip heading to California on our anniversary, ringing in the occasion with Taco Bell and being asleep in our hotel room at 7 pm – the milestone was commemorated with a lengthy power outage (just one of the many we’ve encountered recently), a pop-in stop for a shot at the hospital for me, extended work hours for the both of us, and coming home to find police officers combing through our neighborhood. Needless to say, once we were finally able to be together, that’s all that mattered to me, and we made up for the extra bells and whistles on the weekend(s).
It’s still so crazy to me that we’ve been married for this long already. Two years may not be much in the grand scheme of things, but so much has happened for us in that time. We’re still riding out the honeymoon phase (which I’m honestly convinced at this point could very well just be our permanent state of being), living up this life of ours together, and enjoying every little bit of it as much as I can. Today, I’m sharing 24 of my favorite bits of what’s made us “us” over these past 24 months as a married couple.
- Spending my days with someone who speaks my love language fluently. Letting me sleep in when I need it or picking up the slack when I fall short means just as much to me (if not more) than any flowers or candy in the appropriate setting, though those are appreciated, too – and the knowledge of both and when to utilize each is a game changer for sure.
- Virtually always being on the same wavelength. It’s comforting being on the same page as someone without having to try.
- Also being able to discuss it in the rare instances we’re not. It’s even more comforting being able to discuss any differences, no matter how scarce, like adults and opening one another to an alternate point of view.
- Getting bonus options when it comes to food. When eating out at restaurants, we never order the same thing and we’re fortunately both very good about sharing. It also helps when I mistakingly order something I don’t like that he fortunately does, and vice versa. Win-win all around in my book.
- Mastering the art of (healthy) compromise. He lives with my Teen Mom Mondays, just as I do with his Xbox playing when we’re laying down to go to bed. It’s all about balance.
- Utilizing a trusted, unbiased third party. I am opinionated. I can be stubborn. I am next to never wrong. My husband is a wonderful listener who allows me to vent without judgement, but will also provide me with excellent feedback – even if it isn’t always what I wanted to hear.
- Having someone who makes life’s less exciting moments fun, too. Like wrestling our two 50+ pound dogs when it’s time for a bath or filing taxes – yeah, I’m definitely glad I have someone to tackle things like that with.
- Not having to deal with “new age” dating. I’m not sure I’d know how to navigate Tinder if I tried. I’ve never gone on a date that was completely terrible. I don’t have to wait X amount of days before texting him back. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of that, it simply isn’t “me” and I’d take what I have with him over it millionfold.
- But continuing to date each other. There’s this preconceived notion that your life somehow ends upon getting married. And I’ve watched it happen to some of those around me. I firmly believe that in order for a marriage to flourish, both parties must be in constant pursuit of one another. It’s a matter of investing in each other and the relationship as a whole with the same fervency as in the beginning to ensure it won’t see an end.
- Inspiring one another to be the best forms of ourselves. Especially when you don’t want to be. Being with someone who is good for and to you makes you want to be good for and to yourself, too. Not for them, but for you.
- Helping each other reach your goals. He’s my built-in number one fan, and I get to be his personal cheerleader through any and all of our prospective ventures. “I believe in you” means so much more when it’s shown through action. Like when he rallies for me to keep going when I want to quit on the occasionally challenging hikes I seek out for us, or when I push him to do and accomplish things he doesn’t initially want to, but is ultimately glad he does.
- Planning our future together. And not in the juvenile sense of simply saying “Someday, we’ll have __ babies, and live in a big beautiful house with __ dogs, and drive __ cars, etc.” Sure, that’s the very vague basis of what we’re working with, but at this stage in our life, we’re making real plans and taking actual strides toward making these things a reality.
- Savoring the now with my favorite person on the planet. Anyone who knows me knows that the one thing I am most passionate about is this life itself. Our time here is so precious and fleeting that not making the most of it, in my opinion, is a personal disservice. Having someone by my side who not only understands this about me, but is always on board and right beside me when it comes to dream chasing means absolutely everything to me.
- Learning new things about one another every single day – even after all this time. One would think after 6+ years together, we’d know everything there is to know about each other. And for the most part, I think we do – at least when it comes to the big, obvious stuff. But with each passing day, it seems I’m still discovering new little things about this man that I never knew before and get to fall hard for all over again, too.
- Teaching each other new things, too. Although I may say sometimes that I know everything, there are some that I don’t. It means a lot to me when he takes the time to teach me something new, and I enjoy getting to share exciting and otherwise foreign things with him, too.
- Being able to be me – the weirdest, truest form of me – and having that celebrated instead of altered. It always broke my heart seeing people attempt to change their significant others. And not in positive ways; ways that screamed “Don’t be who you are, be this person or version of you instead.” He knows me, all of me and everything I have to offer; the good, the bad, the baby hairs. He knows it all and doesn’t “tolerate it”. He cherishes it. Every little bit of what makes us our individual selves is what we love most about one another.
- Facing life and everything it’s got as a team. Sometimes life is absolutely incredible, and then sometimes it turns around and punches you right in the gut. And sometimes the space in between the two is virtually nonexistent. I can do anything in this world that I want to – I truly believe that. I’ve always prided myself on my independence, especially in recent years. But it’s certainly nice to have someone by my side to face life’s ups and downs with. To dance in the joy of the good times and help keep me up during the bad. Just because I can do everything on my own doesn’t mean I necessarily always want to – and he doesn’t let me when he can help it.
- Building an archive of memories together. As I mentioned before, relishing and falling in love with life is a priority for me that is very near and dear to my heart. Growing old is a privilege not everyone receives, so to get to do so with my favorite person AND to get to one day look back on all of the wonderful things we’ve done and seen is a bigger blessing than I can find the words for.
- Creating a plethora of new family traditions. Marriage = new family of our own. New family = new family traditions. I love reflecting back on both of our backgrounds over the years and adding our own personalizations and tweaks to carry out for our little family going forward.
- Being together is even better than being alone. I’m a 100% unapologetic introvert. I am polite and kind in group settings, of course, but more often than not, I’d prefer to be in a more intimate one – or better yet, alone. The only thing I like more than being alone is getting to be with him. I tire of being around people rather easily, but I could spend an eternity with him and still want more.
- Intimacy becoming about more than sex. No doubt that that’s the first thing people think of when they think or hear “marital intimacy”, but it’s become about so much more than that. It’s bonding with your forever person in ways unlike anyone or anything else: emotionally, recreationally, intellectually, financially, and physically (outside of the bedroom). Being connected on levels beyond sex is so very important.
- Bargaining for a husband, but getting so much more. As if getting to spend every day of the rest of my life with my best friend wasn’t enough, through those vows I also gained a lifelong confidant, fellow Disney obsessionado, human diary, partner in crime, voice of reason, travel buddy, forever wedding date, drunken dance partner (sober one, too, just less frequent), go-getter whose drive for success matches my own, dedicated dog dad, live-in mechanic/handyman, and so much more. I’d be lucky to get even one of those qualities, much less this never ending list.
- The fact that I sincerely don’t understand what people mean when they say marriage is hard. Maybe we are simply still in the “honeymoon phase”. Maybe it just hasn’t happened “yet”. Maybe we’re doing this marriage thing wrong altogether. Whatever the case may be, no part of what we have together and what we’ve been doing the past two years has been hard. Not a single one. Circumstances and other components surrounding us may be tough. But loving and being loved by him has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done, and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.
- Knowing that our journey is still just getting started. Although the past two years have been some of the very best of my entire life, I am over-the-moon knowing that we are only just beginning this life together and I cannot wait to see what our future holds going forward.
I could seriously go on forever, but these were the first ones to come to mind when I decided on this topic. What are some of your favorite things about married life and your spouse?