I’ve been slacking recently, and for that, I apologize. But I am back and as aimlessly rambling as ever! It sincerely blows my mind that Christmas is later this week – when did that happen?! It feels like just yesterday that I was begging for time to fast forward to Thanksgiving, and now here we are 5 days away from celebrating Christmas! I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it, but I am far from complaining.
Looking back at the weeks now, they have been here and gone faster than I ever thought was physically possible. In the very beginning, I had the hardest time convincing myself that these 13 weeks were going to pass at all; and if somehow they were to, it was going to be painfully slow. It truly was a normal I never knew – even when Tim and I had spent time apart, we were in pretty regular contact. It was the strangest thing, spending every minute of every day with someone to being alone 24/7. Tim was not just my husband, but my partner, my best friend, and my sanity on most days. I would be lying if I said this time apart was without struggle – aside from the obvious separation from him, I had to single-handedly ringlead a circus of my own problems and for a while there, those seemed to be coming from all sides. Work took up a generous chunk of my weekday time, and the weekends didn’t ever last long enough, before Tim left or after.
But by God, here we are. I have less time to go than I have taken down already, and he will be mine again if only for a moment (or 10 days). I honestly am impressed at how I managed to keep it all together. I had such little faith in myself in the beginning; I had no idea whatsoever how I was going to pull this one off. I never let Tim in on my concerns, of course, but some days I legitimately felt myself cracking under all of the pressure. And there were plenty of instances in which giving up altogether sounded downright pleasant. But it never failed that as soon as I felt my back against the wall and I was considering giving up the fight, I’d get a letter from Tim or find a picture online or somehow else be reminded that he’s rooting for me just as much as I am him. And I’d be brought back to life just as I was on the brink.
We have braved the uphill battle and have now begun our descent to the conclusion. The end is in sight now and actually feels real, tangible. That’s not to say that the tough days no longer exist, but the hardest part is over now, and I rejoice in that fact. It sounds so repetitive and tacky, but this time apart has worked wonders for our marriage. I will never take a moment I have with him for granted, because I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve spent missing even the things that used to drive me nuts about him, like his steady relationship with his XBox One, obsessing over UK basketball games, and stalking the completion of Raising Cane’s down the road. There’s a beauty in what this has done for us each as individuals and as a couple, and I find myself unexpectedly grateful for that.
Onto the next and approaching the final stage of this chapter, ladies and gents. Cheers!